Is it WHEN yet?
I’m waiting for when _________ (fill in the blank)
No doubt we can all fill in the blank with hundreds of things. Waiting for what is the question I’d like you to ask yourself.
Can you relate to the following examples?
I’m waiting to use the good dishes for when __________. What’s your answer? For special occasions is the first one that most people say. For when we have company, or for when Laura gets married, or for when we hit the jackpot. I‘m willing to bet you probably have many that you can add.
What if WHEN doesn’t happen? Shouldn’t every day be a special occasion?
I’ll take my kids on vacation when __________. A couple of years ago, I ran into a man who had a beautiful boat sitting right outside his office window. I had to go to his office to pick some paperwork up for a client and ended up returning several times. Each time I commented on his boat and what a beautiful day it was to be out on the water. It saddened me to hear that he hadn’t taken his boat out in well over a year and not for any other reason but that he didn’t have time and he was waiting for when he had more time. He continued to tell me that his kids asked him all the time if they could go.
The Life Coach in me kicked in after the 2nd or 3rd conversation along the same lines and I came right out and asked him why he didn’t make the time. He had lots of reasons, all of them circulating around work. We talked about his workload and how many nights he sat in his office while his family ate dinner. So I asked him the hard question of when he’s gone, what are his kids going to remember? Will they remember all of the good times they had with Dad on their boat? Or are they going to remember that Dad sat at his desk day and night and never had time for them? What was he teaching his kids and what was his legacy going to be? I don’t know whatever happened with him, the project I was working on was completed and my visits to his office were no longer needed.
Can you relate? Have you put off spending time with your friends or family for work. Dinners missed because of a work thing? Weekends not spent with the people you love because of a looming deadline?
“No time right now honey,” you say to your son when he says “Mom, can you show me how to _____?” “Sorry babe, I’m going to miss dinner,” you say to your wife when she calls and tells you the kids and dinner are waiting.
What for? Why are you missing out on the one thing that really matters?
LIFE!!
Seriously, I’m talking about living life and living it fully. Not working until you’re dead. Is that really what we are meant to do on this earth, for the short time that we are here?
WORK — WORK — WORK — WORK — WORK
No! Life is not called working, it is called living. You are meant to live life, not work your way through it until you’re dead.
Think about this…We have this thing people call “rush hour.” Everyone heading to work around the same time of day and then all going home together. You’re on the road, driving in bumper to bumper traffic, people are honking their horns, some aren’t even paying attention, still others are driving like idiots, weaving in and out of traffic trying to make a little extra time, but they’re really not successful and only end up frustrating themselves. They become aggressive drivers, among the passive and hesitant drivers and then sometimes bad shit happens.
There you are, rushing and rushing to get to work, to a job that barely pays the bills, or perhaps you’re able to save a little extra, maybe you’re just scraping by. Do you love your job, find it fulfilling or do you dread having to go to work every day? Whether you love your job or hate it, you’re there — in traffic — rushing to it. How about your boss, does she/he care about you or are you just someone doing their work, making them rich, which you are just getting by.
Here’s the sad part, people die on the roads every single day while they are rushing somewhere. They leave for work in the morning and say goodbye to their husband, wife, kids, family, loved ones, partner, dog, cat, goldfish, and end with a “see you later!” Or worse, you have an argument with your husband, wife, kids, family, loved ones, partner, dog, cat, goldfish, and end with a huff and walking out to a slammed door.
You get to work, rushed but safely and go about your day getting your job done, meeting deadlines, quotas, see clients, have meetings, working your ass off, maybe talk to a loved one once or twice during the day, discuss dinner, plans, or maybe you were that person who did walk out in a huff this morning, but you’ve had time to cool off and you’re looking forward to going home and telling your husband, wife, kids, family, loved ones, partner, dog, cat, goldfish that you love them, you’re sorry about this morning and think about how nice it would be to go out on the boat with everyone this weekend.
You plan to tell them all of this later, when you get home. Except later never comes.
You leave your job and head home, once again sitting in rush hour traffic because just like you, there are thousands of others also rushing somewhere. Maybe you’re not even behind the wheel of a car and instead you’re on a train or a bus or an airplane. You’re thinking about your job, maybe a little distracted, traffic is heavy, seems like everyone has had ONE OF THOSE DAYS and then it happens BOOM! CRASH! POP!
An accident, a collision, tragedy and later — well, later is gone in a heartbeat.
You never get to tell her that you’re sorry you snapped at her. You never get to tell him that you didn’t mean what you said and it was out of frustration and you love him. You never get to tell Jennie that you will find the time to attend the performance at her school, because you realized that you are never too busy to have time for those you love. You never get to play ball with Billy and Rover again. But you didn’t get to say that, because while rushing home you died. I know that’s harsh and it is a terrible tragedy and it happens every single day to many people.
Here’s another harsh reality. That job, the one you don’t really find fulfilling, for the boss who can be kind of a jerk sometimes, well your position there will likely be filled within days, if not within hours of your death.
Think about this — you spent all of those years rushing, rushing to get to work, rushing to get things done, skipping out on time with your family because you were rushing for a boss you don’t even like and who would replace you by the end of the day if you died.
Let’s go back to living, shall we?
LIFE!!
It’s called living for a reason! We live in this great big beautiful world and while I know we have turmoil all around us, we also have so much beauty. The beauty of our world far outweighs anything else. We are meant to enjoy life on this earth, take in all it has to offer and I know it’s cliché, but live life in the moment damnit! It’s called living, not working.
Work is not who you are, it is a part of your life. We hear much about having a work-life balance. I’m not writing about that. This is about living life fully. Work is what you do in order to be able to enjoy your life and experience all that life has to offer. Except that doesn’t happen. So many people are working to pay bills, right? I know we all have basic living expenses to cover and then there are the things we spend money on, but don’t really need. Just how much stuff do you want in your life and is working yourself to death worth it? I’m not here to talk about having too much stuff either, I’ll leave that for George Carlin.
I’ll end with a question and I would absolutely LOVE to read your answers.
Are you working to live? Or, are you living for work? Is every day a special occasion or are you going to continue to wait for when?
