12 Years Married — A Loving FLR Romance
Today is our wedding Anniversary. 12 years ago today, we pledged our love and our lives to one another. It feels like so much longer, like a lifetime. I had another life before I met Richard, but it’s all a distant memory and seems so very far in the past.
In the short time we’ve been together, we’ve experienced so much. We started out on a high, with so many hopes, dreams and plans and then life happened. Movie of the week stuff … missing people, murder, embezzlement, suicide and more … it all happened. But we kept moving forward with our hopes, dreams and plans.
Then more shit happened and things got really bad, really bad. All of our hopes, dreams and plans were gone, kaput, likelihood of happening almost zero. But we kept moving forward and created new hopes, dreams and plans for a different future.
Here’s the thing … we’ve gone through some crazy shit that would have torn many people apart. But, our relationship is very different & we have a communication like no other. We talk about everything … EVERYTHING. In my opinion, communication is the key to any long lasting relationship.
The dynamics of our relationship is what has carried us through. It is what has helped Richard focus on what’s important and not get sidetracked by trivial things. It’s helped me feel supported, listened to and valued for the wisdom and strength that I have. We balance each other well. He has many skills and traits that I don’t have and I have the things he does not. I say that he has book smarts and I have street smarts.
He has always been romantic, but in 2015 then our world crashed & burned, he was devastated that he couldn’t BUY me an Anniversary gift. So, he took all of the poems he had written me over the years, printed them out on beautiful paper, took a couple of magazine covers that I was on and used them as a front & back and he bound all of the poems into a book.
After I finished crying, I told him he’s never allowed to buy me an Anniversary or Birthday gift again, he writes such beautiful poetry, much of it not for tender eyes. He’s even written 4 more books of poems since then. Who needs a store-bought gift!?!?!
Today, we’re past all that bad shit. Things are going well, our marriage and our love is stronger than ever. He supports me unconditionally and I have his back always. I can’t imagine my life without him. To this day, all these many years later we are as in love, or maybe even more than we were in the beginning.
He shows his love and devotion to me every day. He writes me a poem EVERY day. Some longer than others, but every day. He pampers and spoils me. He works so very, very hard to make our lives better. We’re ending 2020 in a place where we really never thought we’d be again.
Some time ago someone asked me if I ever thought about just leaving when we lost everything and without hesitation I said “No, why would I?” Because I didn’t marry Richard’s money, I married Richard’s heart. Then I followed that with “I worked hard to train him, I’m not training another!” LOL
But there’s so much truth in my feelings because Richard is the man I fell in love and lust with, his heart, his weird, crazy, sexy, pervy brain, his mind blowing intelligence … all of which have ZERO to do with money. I can’t imagine my life without him & when I allow my mind to go there, my heart fills with tears.
Richard loves me for me. If you know me at all, you know that I might be referred to as bossy. My mother used to tell him I was a bitch and he’d say “And I love her just like she is.” She couldn’t understand that. In previous relationships I never really stood up for what I wanted and I vowed I’d never do that again and I haven’t. I needed a strong man who could balance my strong personality and he does just that. He does what I want, when I want it and as you all know he worships me as his Goddess. (All women are). He promised me on this day 12 years ago that he would do everything in his power to make me always feel that way and he has succeeded beyond my imagination. Our home is definitely female led and it’s exactly the way it was meant to be. A #FLRHome (Because really, if husbands would just do what their wives tell them to do they’d get themselves in a lot less trouble and you know that saying “Happy wife, happy life.)
I have some firm hard rules that we both abide by.
- Never say anything you don’t mean just to hurt the other person. Once you say those words, you can never take them back.
- Communicate. Find a way that works for you and be able to talk about everything, even the crappy days. Never, ever let your partner wonder what’s happening.
- Ask for what you want. Don’t play guessing games, don’t drop hints. You’re setting yourself and your partner up for failure when then hints do not land like you expect them to.
- Never settle for less than what you want. If you lower your standards or accept less, then you’re setting yourself up to be disappointed. Instead, expect your partner to rise to the occasion and do the things that inspire them to do so.
- Romance never ends. You stopped doing the things that were romantic. So do something every day.
I have so much love in me that I wish I could spread it around the world. I feel that if others could just feel what I do, then we’d have so much more goodness in the world. We’ve gone through hell, but it hasn’t changed who we are inside.
If I could do one thing, it would be to inspire others to find what works for them in their relationships. Inspire women to embrace their inner Goddess and ask for what they want and show husbands that romance is easy and doesn’t take a lot of work.
I never imagined I would find the love I have with Richard. I truly feel like the luckiest woman in the world, because I have something extremely special with my man.
Happy Anniversary my darling Knight in shining armor. I love you.
